Make-Up Blog #13: "Paintbrush"

I really enjoy art:

A miniature witch’s broom. Fine bristles stiff to the touch, smooth in a stroke- all tapered to an elegant tip. With a simple, slim wooden form, a paintbrush is capable of creating works so magnificent that countless people a year flock to museums for glimpses of man-made treasures. Indeed, a paintbrush in itself is worthy of its own exhibit.

My fingers itch for the tool when I see the blend of cool hues just after sunset. Or when frostbitten leaves fall in puddles around trees.  Just some swoops, some dabbles, and some slashes create an artist’s signature in paint. Pictures may be worth a thousand words, but there is only one view, one vision. Paintings, on the other hand, are so easily pliable. With Seurat, his paintbrush served as a dotting tool- images created solely through vibrant dots of pigment. Kandinsky had no clear subject- everything was open to the viewer’s interpretation. A paintbrush, therefore, is vital in an artist’s dream world.

 As the muscles in my hand loosen with every stroke of paint, and as my eyes relish the fluffy blend of colors, the paintbrush is there to always ease my stress. When I hold the tool in my hand, I’m a balloon that has escaped a child’s sticky hands. I fly closer to my imagination until I disappear into it. In my mind, a pen is never necessary, for my paintbrush speaks all my unspoken words.  

Lasts.

Finally. The last blog of AP Literature…and probably in my life. I never really enjoyed blogs, but I definitely see the value in writing weekly to improve our analytical skills. For some reason, I had a really hard time sticking to the blog schedule this semester. If only we could just post a blog sometime during the week each week instead of the Thursday deadline. Who knew I’d feel so much dread from forgetting it was a Thursday.

As for AP Lit, the class has helped improve my reading comprehension. It’s scary to think that the amount of reading we do in this class pales to the amount in college. In-class essays were and still are a torture to do, but the constant writing will make me feel a little more at ease when I’m assigned a three page paper due the first week of college. Seriously, horror stories about college are starting to make it seem really intimidating. Oh well, I’ll have three months of summer vacation to ponder the intricacies of science to prepare myself for my endeavors in college. Or sleep. LOTS.

She Wore Only White: My Thoughts

Although this book by Dorthe Binkert was not as informative on how immigrants assimilated into America’s environment, I realized that the journey to America was just as important of a topic. Binkert chose to focus on a mysterious girl named Valentina who boards an America-bound ship as a stowaway. She does not have a single belonging on her, though her dress hints at her upper class background. Through the course of the trip to America, more of her life is revealed. She has a husband who cheats often and openly, and she lost her young child two years ago. The story line may be a bit melodramatic, but many immigrants during that time (early 1900s) had chosen to leave their home countries because of past sorrows they hoped to escape from.

At the end of the novel, however, there is a harsh truth. Not all immigrants were allowed entry into America, and Valentina was one of them. She had not bought a ticket, so as a stowaway she returned to Belgium. Even though her case was rare, others had their hopes crushed when eye infections or other illnesses forced them, and sometimes their other family members, to return to their home countries. Therefore, even though the plot was fictional, it was based on a true story, and revealed how immigration was not always a happy ending for everyone.   

Media and the Self-Esteem of Teenagers

So, as I was contemplating what I should write for this blog post, I decided to answer a question that I had for a Spanish presentation. (Sorry, I didn’t feel like writing 200+ words about rhythm and meter.) The question was on the effect of media on the self-esteem of teenagers. Growing up, teens often feel insecure about their image in comparison to others around them. As a result, their constant exposure to media serves as an unconscious guide to how they may present themselves.

Teenagers, especially girls, try to attain the standard of beauty seen in commercials or advertisements. However, with the growth of technology, most of the images of beauty are not natural – imperfections have been erased or covered with makeup, and features have been photoshopped to better match the current definition of beauty.

In fact, the standard of beauty has really changed over the years. At some time, there was an anorexia craze and everyone wanted to look stick-thin because it was “in”. Some older paintings have subjects of plumper women because that was the ideal image at the time. Even though the beauty standard has fluctuated in the past, there is immense pressure on teens at the moment with the heavy presence of social media sites such as Facebook or Twitter where “likes” and “retweets” seem to be of the upmost importance. This can definitely hinder teenagers from gaining confidence and a high self-esteem. 

“Defining Bullying Down”

This New York Times article tackles the issue of bullying as well as the boundaries of its definition. I agree with the article in saying that the word “bullying” is overused and used loosely to describe harassment and sometimes extreme cases of violence. However, there is an idea brought up in the article that I didn’t really agree with. The author of the article, Emily Bazelon, believes that:

“Crying wolf about bullying isn’t good for the children who play the victim, either. Those who hold onto that identity are less likely to recover from adversity. Bullying victims need sympathy; they also need help learning to be resilient.”

True, bullies tend to inflict harm onto others because they may hold insecurities and feel a need for hold power over others. On the other hand, this doesn’t mean the victim should stay idle and allow the bullying to occur because they sympathize with the bully. In any bullying situation, the victim should inform someone about the issue. Children don’t “play the victim” role – bullying is definitely not a game, nor is it for show. I feel like it would be easier for children to overcome adversity if they take action themselves and tell people with authority to take care of the matter.

Defining Family Relationships

“The Stories That Bind Us” is a New York Times article that focuses on the formula to a healthy, happy family. There are twenty questions that children answer to find a place on the “Do You Know” scale. The questions ask children facts about their family to grasp the cohesiveness of a child’s family. I found it interesting that there was a positive correlation between a child’s knowledge of their family’s stories and the bonds between members of a family.

Personally, I’d say my culture has kind of hindered a close family relationship. My parents have never really told me about their lives in China or how they even met. I’m a pretty curious person, so I like to ask my parents questions about their past experiences, but they see it as meddling. It’s weird to them that I would ask what their high schools were like or the story of how they met. My mom will open up from time to time and tell me bits and pieces of her life, but my dad will just tell me to go to my room and study (of course). So it does make sense that I would be closer to my mom than my dad.

At the same time, cultural standards push me to be filial, so there is somewhat of a family connection. This is probably why I don’t feel like the bonds in our family are frayed, although I do agree with the studies on family unity.

Poetry is an Art

“Painting is silent poetry, and poetry is painting with the gift of speech.” –Simonides

I definitely view poetry as a form of art. When the word “art” is mentioned, usually paintings are the first thing to come to mind. However, with poetry, words are the medium. It captures the essence of the moment while giving room for multiple interpretations. I like how Simonides chose to describe speech as a gift. Talented poets are able to spin words into a new dimension, another person’s life, or the raw emotions of an individual.

“Poetry is an attempt to capture the essence of the chord struck in the poet by an instant of insight, in such a way that the same music will sound in the soul of the reader.” – Tia Azulay

“Colour is the key. The eye is the hammer. The soul is the piano with its many chords. The artist is the hand that, by touching this or that key, sets the soul vibrating automatically. ” – Wassily Kandinsky

These two must have been thinking on the same wavelength. It’s interesting to see that the purpose of a poet or artist is to reach for the soul of the reader or viewer. In Azulay’s opinion, poetry can never replace the first instances of emotion, but only attempt to replicate past emotions. I slightly disagree with this view. If poetry is successful, then “music will sound” within the reader. If it’s only an “attempt” to capture the experience, then everyone can attempt to convey insight, but most will not strike the chord of the reader. This is why I can’t be a poet even if I wanted to be one – I can’t make music.  

My Own Experience with Immigration

Since my inquiry project is on immigration to the U.S., I thought I might as well share my own experience coming to America.

But first, a little introduction. I moved to the U.S. when I was around five, but before that, I was used to moving. I was born in Japan and then I moved to my parent’s hometown in China when I was almost two years old. At the time, my grandparents raised me while my parents worked in Hong Kong. I finally started living with my parents when I was four, but then my dad left to go to America because he found a job there. After a year of living in Hong Kong, my mom and I left to join my dad in America.

When I first arrived, I was met with the corn fields of Minnesota in a small town named Austin. I don’t remember much of my first day in America, but I do remember my first day of preschool. The teacher couldn’t pronounce my Chinese name, so she just pronounced it “ee-sha”, and it has been that way ever since. Now, I had lived in various Asian countries, so seeing the Caucasian teacher was a bit odd at first. It was like seeing a Chinese cartoon in real life, since most cartoons I had watched before had Caucasian characters.

I actually think moving to the U.S. made me become an introvert. I was actually pretty talkative in China, but the language barrier when I arrived in the U.S. hindered my social interactions. I turned to meticulously coloring in coloring books and was surprised when I was praised for my work. My mom had told me that the teachers in China told her that I had zero talent in art and pretty much said my drawings were hideous. Yes, Chinese teachers are quite blunt. Well, I don’t really care now because I found a talent in art that those teachers failed to see. It’s a bit far, but I guess moving to America helped me find my passion for art.

Frank McCourt is a Funny Guy

 

For my second independent reading book, I chose to read ‘Tis, by Frank McCourt. Freshman year, I read Angela’s Ashes, McCourt’s more well known memoir about his life in Ireland. I distinctly remember enjoying the book for McCourt’s clear sense of voice within his memoir. The experiences he went through were heavy with darkness, but tinged with his characteristic humor. Once again, ‘Tis is similar in the portrayal of McCourt’s hardships, but – using his words – he doesn’t “give a fiddler’s fart” about anything. And I like that. There’s no filter, it’s personal, and straightforward enough to be understandable.

So far, McCourt has given me a great point of view on his experience of immigration. America was always seen as a land of opportunities, so that’s what McCourt believed he would be granted with upon his arrival. However, in the beginning of the novel, he is met with one crushing disappointment after the other. It is the littlest of things like not being able to eat the leftovers in the hotel or having to turn off the light promptly every night because the landlord says so, but they add up to a skewed view of what America should have been. I do take comfort in the fact that McCourt does become a successful writer and teacher later on.

On a side note, I used to go to Stuyvesant H.S. and it was really interesting to see his perspective of students while teaching at Stuyvesant. I’m amused to see that Stuy students back then (when it was still a predominately boys school) do not really differ in their approach to education from the students today.

Guns on Campus? No, Thanks.

 

 

The NYTimes article, “Colleges Become Major Front in Fight Over Carrying Guns,” gives opposing views on the issue of concealed weapons on campus, but quite frankly, I don’t think guns should be allowed near students when on college campuses. True, it can provide a means of protection, but who’s to say if the person breaking in the dorm room has a weapon as well? And honestly, I still don’t think college students are responsible enough to keep weapons on campus. These students finally gain independence from the watchful eyes of their parents, and suddenly they can turn reckless and rash.

There are several scenarios where the students can misuse weapons. Perhaps they become heavily intoxicated and go on an angry rampage with their guns. Or, maybe the weight of college work drives students into a corner of deep depression and causes them to inflict injuries upon themselves and others. Of course, there are also students who may have mental issues that have gone unchecked who keep guns in their dorms. In the article, it states that at UK, students are allowed to keep guns in their cars. I still find that dangerous because there are still weapons in the possession of possibly reckless students.

One study in the article revealed that more educated people were actually more likely to have anti-gun views. Also, the percentage of young gun-owners is pretty low at the moment because there are less young people with hunting experience. I think it should stay that way for the safety at schools. College campuses are relatively safe with a little common sense (just avoid going out late at night in a dangerous neighborhood). Guns aren’t needed for protection on campus - there are always security guards and security systems such as card swipe-ins or emergency buttons that automatically call 911. Students shouldn’t have to worry about other students using weapons at school.

The Value of Handwritten Letters

(All the pictures I found for handwritten letters were in cursive. Hmm...)

 

The last time I received a handwritten letter was during the winter holidays from my friend. That’s actually not too long ago, but in a time when all correspondence goes through the hands of electronics, receiving such a letter is pretty rare. People are living in a time of instant gratification: emails and texts are just so much faster to receive and respond to. As a result, letters seem to be a hassle and a test of patience – something people lack these days, myself included. And even though I received a handwritten letter during the holidays, those kinds of letters are expected during that time. Now, as for a letter that I received in the mail that wasn’t for the holidays or special occasions is probably back in elementary school when I would send letters to friends in another state. Of course, that was before I started using email and obviously before Facebook’s dominance over social networking.

There is definitely sentimental value in handwritten letters. Electronic correspondence (no matter what handwriting font you use) will always be done through a screen. It can’t replace the paper and pen people use to create a letter filled with their thoughts. It’s more personal when people have scribbled their words across the page, with the letters of the words changing with each emotion. There are marks scratching off phrases here and there, squiggles deleting possible misconstrued words… all indications that the writer has taken the time to compose a letter. With that being said, I may start personally writing some letters – it would be interesting to see the reactions of the people who receive them.  

First Thoughts on *Beloved*

 

To be honest, I didn’t really enjoy the first sixty pages of the book. It’s still too early to say if I will later come to like to book, but Toni Morrison’s writing is definitely one to get used to. The story line is a bit difficult to follow since it constantly jumps from past to present. Since the story line is choppy, I’m still not very familiar with the characters. I’m confused about the roles of all the people mentioned at Sweet Home. I’m sure the place was abusive, but there are times when I think the home wasn’t as harsh to slaves as other farms/plantations. Mrs. Garner gave Sethe crystal earrings for her wedding gift, but then again, Sethe was brutally whipped at Sweet Home.

I also wonder what the relationship between Paul D. and Sethe is. I thought they were friends, but he just suddenly appeared and started developing an interest in her. I guess it’s purely out of a possessive nature since Sethe’s husband, Halle, is gone. After sleeping with her, however, he doesn’t find her attractive anymore now that he has had her. It seems like he is staying at Sethe’s house from now on, so I wonder where the relationship will go from there, since Sethe doesn’t really have mutual feelings for Paul D.  

The Joy Luck Club

I read The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan for my first inquiry project novel. Although there are stronger themes of family relationships in this book, my topic of immigration is highlighted as a cause for differences between generations. There are four Chinese mothers who have immigrated to the U.S. in search of better lives and fortune. They each have a daughter and their daughters’ perspectives in their respective stories contrast with the narration of each of the mothers’ stories. The mothers want their children to assimilate into the American culture while still retaining a traditional Chinese nature of politeness and respect for their elders (filial piety all the way, of course).

Since the whole topic of my inquiry project is immigration, I’ll refrain from being too repetitive on this post and just talk about another topic I found interesting in this novel. Chinese parents tend to prefer sons (more so in the past than now, but there is still a preferece). Boys were seen as the gateway to success since they were the ones that were more likely to break through the strict boundaries of social classes. For girls, especially the mother’s generation of the book, they were only seen as ways to marry into families with connections. Therefore, I liked how the daughters were the symbols of strength for their mothers. They all had successful jobs and fulfilled their mothers’ dreams of bringing opportunities to their families. The sons, when mentioned, were still living at home in their late thirties or had been in jail for some minor crimes. I’m not sure if it was exactly Amy Tan’s intent, but I was glad to see a focus on the strength of the daughters instead of the sons.

"Outlining in Reverse": My Thoughts

This New York Times article by Aaron Hamburger introduces a way to tackle the tedious process of writing an essay. Instead of writing an outline to plan for the essay, the outline is written after the completed essay to better comprehend/critique the work. Now, the outline becomes a revision process instead of a planning device. This concept intrigues me because I’ve always thought outlines were a waste of time – especially during timed writings. I may brainstorm and write down a few ideas before writing, but I don’t go and spend a full ten minutes writing out each claim, detail, and concluding sentence of each body paragraph. I find the process a bit repetitive when I start writing my essay. It also conforms my writing into a certain structure and doesn’t allow for creativity when writing a fictional piece.

For in-class essays, I wouldn’t necessarily write an outline after my writing is complete because of the time constraints, but I would consider outlining in reverse for longer and more analytical essays that I write at home. I always like to just sit down and write a complete essay instead of writing one section at a time. That way, I can keep a constant flow of ideas without breaking my train of thought. However, this can cause me to leave out certain details, so outlining afterwards would help me fill in the gaps of my essay.

To and Fro in the Void of Reality

Ashes
blowing in loose swirls
Blackened, charred and limbless.
Bleak incandescent orange
Sagging hands
of blind wire

The flame-
don't let it go out.
We're carrying the fire.
We're the good guys.

A trellis of a dog
straw hat, cob pipe,
rowboat-
nothing at all,
violence to its origins.

In the cave
the child led him
through the waking world
of the night.

The man,
the boy
wandered in the cold wake
trailing his hand.
Horror, creatures.
Please,
just be a dream.

This was my found poem for The Road. As much as I'd like to say I wrote this poem, all the words and phrases come from McCarthy. I actually enjoyed this exercise since I do like to write poems once in a while. I find poetry to be like a form of art- words don't have to strictly follow their definitions and the tight boundaries of sentence structure can be ignored. Speaking of art, The Road has actually had an influence on one of my paintings for my art class. I am juxtaposing the image of a colorful "Tree of Life" with the dark, post-apocalyptic world found in the novel to bring up the issue of environmental awareness.

As for this poem, my two topics are dreams/flashbacks and ash and fire imagery. The beginning of the poem sets up the "void of reality" the man and the boy must face every day. However, the man is also stuck in the past. His dreams are always filled with his memories- ones he hopes to dispose of because he doesn't want to have "good" dreams. To him, having good dreams means to give up. My title for the poem highlights the man's path as he drifts between past and present.

First Thoughts on *The Road*

I am intrigued by the fact that the man and his son still have hope through their difficult journey. While the mother was suffocating from the emptiness around them and subsequently killed herself, the man and his son were able to walk away from her death in hopes that they will reach a safe haven in the south. I don’t believe that either of the main characters is afraid of death. The father’s sole reason for living is his son, and the boy has already mentioned that he wants to be where his mom is (aka dead). Therefore, I am curious as to what the characters’ reasons are for surviving. However, I doubt I will have my question answered given the ambiguity of the story.

I also find it interesting that the boy has so much trust in others even after being born into a world where sanity is all but lost. If he had a goal, it would probably to go to the south to find other young boys and dogs to befriend. His motivation indicates that he hasn't completely lost a sense of trust, even though his dad keeps him constantly aware of the “bad guys” they often encounter. He also seemed disappointed in his dad for killing the man that put a knife to his throat. Death and murder are things the boy still can’t accept even if he witnesses them on a daily basis.